What Being a Cupcake on Tinder Taught Me About Dating

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about heterosexual women, it’s that they like men. They enjoy their company. They even marry them, sometimes. But they love cupcakes. And if there’s another thing I know, it’s that single women are on Tinder. So, armed with those two pieces of knowledge, I set out to create a Tinder persona that no woman could resist: a man’s face drawn on a cupcake.

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Here’s the cupcake at home, before all hell would break loose on Tinder.

My plan to lure women in as a cupcake worked. Oh, did it work. I’ve used dating sites in the past with little to no shame. I’ve even paid to use them. And I’ve met some nice people, including the woman I’m currently dating, who thought this project of mine was a good idea. I don’t think she could have predicted the extent to which women would throw themselves at me. She probably never would’ve agreed to it.

Allow me to reintroduce myself.

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This was me for the night. I named myself in honor of a real-life Connor I had just emailed. He looks nothing like this cupcake. But he’s a confident, tall dude who’s much younger than me, so I figured if I stole his name, some of his swagger might rub off on the character.

I couldn’t have been more right.

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First, I filled out Connor Cupcake’s Facebook profile with some photos to give women a sense of who this guy was. The caption on this photo read, “FRIDAY NIGHT! YOU KNOW HOW WE DO. #workhard #playharder.”

More: Girl Scout Samoa cupcakes might put your local troop out of business

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Any self-respecting cupcake has a selfie or two in his profile.

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Here’s the profile even nutritionally disciplined women could not resist.

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After taking a bunch of photos to fill out my profile, I started right-swiping every girl that popped up on my screen. Connor was not picky.

I did this at around 5 p.m.. I swiped for about an hour and got no matches. I didn’t realize that no one is on Tinder at 5 p.m., having never used it before, and thought this project was a failure. I even sent an email to my boss with the subject line, “Why won’t any girls like me?!?!!?!?”, an email subject I’m sure I also used when I was 15.

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I began feeling like I was being rejected, not the cupcake. This is an actual note I took around that time. See if you can spot the sadness embedded in this nugget: “I must’ve swiped 300 girls by now. Nothing.”

And then, out of the blue, my first match! I messaged her immediately. Things got dirty right away. I knew I was on to something.

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She did not waste time getting into it. My theory was already proven correct. This girl got dirty two seconds into it.

Lesson #1: Some women just want a cupcake, and don’t even care to learn what flavor it is.

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I continued talking to this girl, because I thought she would be the only woman to like the cupcake. And, then, it was revealed she didn’t like milk. I stopped talking to her.

Lesson #2: People who don’t get along with your friends are not worth dating.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. There are still eight more bizarre chats women had with a cupcake — check ’em all out on Thrillist.com!

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Twitter Shares Hit All-Time Low

NEW YORK (AP) — Shares of Twitter dropped in morning trading Wednesday to their lowest point since the company went public in November. Investor concern remains over the short messaging service’s ability to keep adding users and keep existing users engaged.

Twitter has said it is focusing on expanding its audience and encouraging people who do use its service to use it more often. But the San Francisco company has not been expanding its user base as quickly as its investors would like.

Twitter had 255 million monthly users at March’s end, up 25 percent from a year ago.

Late Tuesday the company reported first-quarter adjusted earnings and revenue that topped Wall Street expectations.

Shares of Twitter Inc. declined $5.23, or 12.3 percent, to $37.39 in morning trading. Earlier, it slipped to $37.24.

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It’s Time To Confront The Copyright Lobby

Hollywood Sign

Derek Khanna is a fellow with Yale Law School’s Information Society Project, associate fellow with R Street Institute, technology consultant, and former congressional staffer.

Today, R Street Institute released a report on copyright duration entitled: “Guarding Against Abuse – Restoring Constitutional Copyright.”

In recent decades, a number of special interests that have been called the “copyright lobby” have ensured their copyrighted works would never enter the public domain by keeping their copyright terms continually elongated. The public policy goals of this copyright inflation movement have been in clear violation of the Constitution’s text and its original public meaning. The recapture of works that would be in the public domain represents one of the biggest thefts of public property in history, and has had a significant economic impacts upon our culture, personal liberty and economy.

The effects of this grand larceny impact learning, creation and innovation.

Figure 1: Copyright duration and the Mickey Mouse Curve

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The copyright for 1928’s “Steamboat Willie,” which introduced the world to Mickey Mouse, was extended by both the 1976 and 1998 amendments to the Copyright Act. It currently is set to expire in 2023.

Current U.S. law provides copyright protection for the life of the author plus 70 years. For corporate authors, the term is 120 years after creation or 95 years after publication. But those changes reflect only part of the reality. In fact, lobbyists have usurped the policy-making process itself to ensure that whenever one term of copyright is set to expire, the law is extended again.

Several times, these extensions have even been made retroactively, re-applying copyright protections to works that already had moved into the public domain. Thus, the degree to which the current “life+70” standard can be relied upon to accurately project when some specific work may move into the public domain is quite limited.

The practical effect of this policy is, effectively, a regime of indefinite copyright. During oral arguments of the 2002 case of Eldred v. Ashcroft, Justice Sandra Day O’Connor said of the policy of continual copyright extension that it “flies directly in the face of what the framers had in mind, absolutely.”

If You Repeat a Lie Often Enough 

Jack Valenti, then-head of the Motion Picture Academy of America, testified during the legislative run-up to passage of 1998’s Sonny Bono Copyright Term Extension Act (known colloquially as the “Mickey Mouse Protection Act”) that “copyright term extension has a simple but compelling enticement: it is very much in America’s economic interests.”

We have lots of reasons to be skeptical of Valenti’s claim, 1) it wasn’t backed by data, 2) there is overwhelming data to the contrary from economists and 3) Valenti was well known for making stuff up that was demonstrably untrue and having little regard for the rest of the economy.

As a case in point, consider the content industry’s campaign of trying to ban the VCR which the MPAA warned would destroy the entire industry. In 1982, Valenti testified before Congress:

“I say to you that the VCR is to the American film producer and the American public as the Boston strangler is to the woman home alone. … We are going to bleed and hemorrhage, unless this Congress at least protects [our industry against the VCR]. … We cannot live in a marketplace … where there is one unleashed animal [the VCR] in that marketplace, unlicensed. It would no longer be a marketplace; it would be a kind of a jungle, where this one unlicensed instrument is capable of devouring all that people had invested in.”

Of course, just two years after the 1984 Supreme Court decision in which the MPAA lost its suit to ban the VCR, revenues from video tape sales and rentals were $4.38 billion, eclipsing 1986’s box office revenues of $3.78 billion. In 2012, the home media consumption market that the MPAA tried to stamp out blossomed into an $18 billion dollar market.

Given the content industry’s track record, policy-makers should be highly skeptical of the industry’s claim that longer copyright terms are in our national interest. Despite Valenti’s assertion, like their argument that home media consumption would destroy their business, the MPAA has produced no credible research to back up the claim that extending copyright terms is in the U.S. economic interest, while evidence to the contrary is overwhelming. The extension of copyright, particular to life+50 under the Berne Convention, is a direct result of importing foreign law with lobbyists arguing for “international harmonization.”

The Rise of Special Interests:

When the idea of international harmonization was first presented in the United States, in the 19th century, Congress wisely chose not to disregard the original public meaning for copyright. Mark Twain even testified before Congress in favor of longer copyright terms and importing international law through the Berne Convention. At the time, Congress rejected Twain’s arguments. This was a big deal, the US rejected increasing copyright terms vastly to life + 50 under Berne in particular, because the US was the only major industrialized country that wouldn’t join the convention. This demonstrates how big of a deviation such a long copyright extension was perceived to be.

But the content industry would get stronger over a hundred years, fulfilling the fears of our Founding Fathers. And while James Madison warned us that copyright must be guarded with “strictness ag[aint] abuse.” When the content industry corrupted copyright, there was no standing up for the Constitution, the public, and content creators. The United States would join the Berne Convention in the 1980’s, over 100 years after it was proposed.

Today, copyrights have been extended from 14 years, to life of the author plus 70 years, special interests are trying to lock in life + 70 through international treaty (TPP), and in 2018, major copyright holders will likely push for an even longer copyright term of life plus 100.

Steep Costs of Long Copyright:

The steep costs to perpetual extension of copyright have been long known and well documented. This is why the British copyright statute, the Statute of Anne, limited copyright duration to 14 years; why 12 of the original 13 colonies had similar copyright durations in their own statutes; why the Constitution includes the phrase “limited times”; and why the founders limited copyright to 14 years.

In a brief submitted during the Eldred case, Nobel laureates Milton Friedman, Ronald Coase, James Buchanan, George Akerlof, Kenneth Arrow and 11 other economists argued that a “lengthened copyright term…keeps additional materials out of new creators’ hands” and ultimately results in “fewer new works” and “higher transaction costs in the creation of some works.” The economists argued that the 1998 extension is inefficient and “reduces consumer welfare,” as consumers are denied the ability to acquire derivative works and content that otherwise would be in the public domain.

Justices John Paul Stevens and Stephen Breyer authored separate dissents in the Eldred case, with Breyer noting the increased royalty payments that result from copyright term extension “will not come from thin air.”

“Rather, they ultimately come from those who wish to read or see or hear those classic books or films or recordings that have survived…Further, the likely amounts of extra royalty payments are large enough to suggest that unnecessarily high prices will unnecessarily restrict distribution of classic works (or lead to disobedience of the law)—not just in theory but in practice.”

As a result of extremely long copyright terms and unclear fair use laws, we have clear evidence that, rather than serving as an incentive to create, excessively long copyright – well beyond what the founders would support – actually hinders creation. New artists, directors and writers are unable to create derivative works without paying fees that can be so high as to make the cost of derivative works prohibitive or even impossible.

BANNED “Happy Birthday to You”: 

There are very real costs to indefinite copyright: it hinders creativity, stifles innovation, limits free speech and hurts the general public. The R Street Report delves into each issue in depth, but as one case in point, we can see how indefinite copyright hurts society with the timeless song “Happy Birthday to You.”

Recently Warner/Chappell has claimed a copyright to “Happy Birthday to You,” which the Guinness World Records book calls the most famous song in the English language. Their claim is based upon a published version of piano arrangements from 1935.

Warner/Chappel is a major record label representing Madonna and Michael Jackson’s estate, not a fly by night operation. So far they have collected an estimated over $2 million a year in licensing fees from thousands of people that they have forced to pay licensing fees. According to one estimate, it is the song that earns the highest royalty rates.

Today, every time somehow wants to use a portion of this song in a video or publicly perform it they have to pay a license fee or risk being sued. It has been reported that restaurants such as Applebee’s and Shoney’s have developed songs that are used instead of “Happy Birthday to You” to avoid copyright infringement and avoid paying hefty royalties. Under current copyright law, “Happy Birthday to You” will remain under copyright under 2030, but we should expect a push to continue to expand copyright even further beyond 2030.

What is the public policy rationale for requiring people to pay a license fee to Warner/Chappel, for a song that is over 80 years old? Warner/Chappel didn’t even compose the song, but today they can use it to receive a rent from the economy. Such a long copyright term does not “promote the progress of the sciences” the Constitutional purpose for Copyright.

Get the Data:

The Constitution provides a clear roadmap for Congress on how to design copyright laws: they must “promote the progress of the sciences.” In order to do so, Congress should first get the data. Congress no longer cares about the data.

There have been numerous studies on copyright duration, and every one of them shows that today’s copyright terms are killing content creation and hurting the public. There simply is not any study to justify the current copyright system. The only explanation is cronyism. In fact, at times the MPAA has even been frank on how it wields its enormous checkbook and political influence to get it’s way:

“Candidly, those who count on quote ‘Hollywood’ for support need to understand that this industry is watching very carefully who’s going to stand up for them when their job is at stake. … Don’t ask me to write a check for you when you think your job is at risk and then don’t pay any attention to me when my job is at stake.”

Very candid indeed, Chris Dodd said this after Member turned against their SOPA/PIPA legislation to censure the internet when millions of American rose of up protest. Candidly, this seems like arguably potential evidence of quid pro quo bribery, a felony. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but not a very far one. Dodd is the epitome of the fear that the Founders had of these systems being abused by special interests generations later, precisely why Madison told us to guard these instruments against abuse. To their credit, in moments of candor, content industry lobbyists at least admit that their goal is to repeal the Copyright Clause from the Constitution.

The costs of one of the greatest thefts in American history by these special interests hinders learning, destroys our cultural legacy, hurts innovation and the general public, but most importantly it impedes filmmakers, artists, DJ’s and other content creators that need to be able to build upon the work of others to create new content – as we have done for centuries. If current policy is extended, Disney will have succeeded in making billions from the public domain, and then ensuring that no company could ever become another Disney again, by shutting off the public domain of the future.

 

Over 200 years ago, James Madison warned us that copyright and patents, as monopolies, must be “guarded with strictness aga[inst] abuse.” It’s up to use to guard them now. We know the costs of continuing extremist copyright policies completely removed from the Constitution’s original public meaning; the American people deserve better then politicians selling out to Hollywood.

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Remembering Bob Hoskins in ‘Hook’ and ‘Roger Rabbit’

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British actor Bob Hoskins died Wednesday in a hospital after suffering from pneumonia, according to a statement released by his publicist, Clair Dobbs. He was 71

Hoskins was best known for his role in the 1988 animated/live action film Who Framed Roger Rabbit as private investigator Eddie Valiant. He was also nominated for an Academy Award for best actor for his work as an ex-con in the 1986 film Mona Lisa. (Hoskins won the BAFTA and Golden Globe for his Mona Lisa performance.)

Hoskins was a staple of British films, most noted for his ability to portray Cockney gangsters. After breaking into Hollywood, Hoskins played Mr. Smee in the classic 1991 film Hook and even Mario in 1993’s Super Mario Bros. His last film was Snow White and the Huntsman, portraying one of the seven dwarves, alongside Chris Hemsworth and Kristen Stewart Read more…

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A Fingerprint Can Unlock All Your Passwords on the Samsung Galaxy 5

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Samsung Galaxy S5 users can now access all of their passwords saved in LastPass with the swipe of a finger.

Password management service LastPass, which stores passwords in a secure online vault to automatically log users into websites, rolled out an update to its Android app on Wednesday that lets the Galaxy S5 fingerprint sensor open the user’s cache of passwords — as opposed to typing out the master password manually.

In addition, just by using a fingerprint, users will be able to bypass the prompt to type in their password or PIN (to access any app or site via the smartphone). Read more…

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Twitter Will Never Be Mainstream (TWTR)

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Twitter is still dealing with the same problem it’s had since its inception. It’s not a mainstream social network like Facebook, but a niche product for plugged-in folks obsessed with media, tech, and instant news and commentary.

In its earnings report Tuesday, Twitter once again showed that user growth is not that impressive. It now has 255 million monthly active users, making it smaller than other social networks like LinkedIn (300 million), WhatsApp (500 million), and WeChat (355 million). And it’s nowhere close to Facebook, which has 1.28 billion monthly active users. 

For all its buzz, Twitter is still relatively tiny and not gaining users as quickly as its rivals.

It’s now clear that Twitter as a product isn’t something people normal folks are turning to for sharing everything that happens in their lives. And, as Twitter’s executives pointed out during Tuesday’s earnings call, activity is heavily dependent on big events like the Oscars, Grammys, and the upcoming World Cup. If nothing is happening right now, then people aren’t tweeting.

Part of that is the nature of Twitter’s product. Unless you’re constantly checking it, it doesn’t make sense if you log off for a few hours. The stream is so instantaneous and in the moment that it’s not very useful for the casual user. It’s like jumping in the middle of a rapidly changing conversation without any context.

Twitter’s attempt to solve that problem is to make the service look more like Facebook. Its new profile view, for example, is almost a direct clone of the Facebook profile. It even has pop-up windows whenever you get a new direct message or interaction. On mobile apps, there’s the “Discover” tab, which features older tweets that will likely be relevant to you based on the people you already follow. But those changes just make the product more confusing and annoying, and takes away from the core of what Twitter is — what’s happening now.

It’s a great product for obsessed media types, but not for casual users Twitter seems to be trying to court.

And that’s OK!

Twitter doesn’t need to be as mainstream as Facebook. It’s already proven that it has a solid business based on what it is now. Revenue is growing. ($250 million last quarter, up 119%). Plus, the company’s acquisition of the mobile ad platform MoPub last year has given it a steady revenue stream even without a skyrocketing user base. Twitter could turn into a successful mobile ad platform, even without a horde of normal users like its rivals have.

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Ads Are Coming To Tinder This Year

The mobile dating app Tinder will likely see advertising sometime this year.

Re/Code reports that IAC, which owns a majority stake in the startup, said during an earnings call today that it would begin testing monetization methods soon.

Greg Blatt, chairman of IAC’s Match dating division, said the app provides “real opportunities for native advertising.”

Already, these capabilities have been tested by Fox and the USA Network, which set up fake profiles for characters from “The Mindy Project” and “Suits,” respectively. No money changed hands for either of the brand integrations.

Mindy Kaling on tinder

The app has also considered selling subscriptions, as well as a “freemium” model that would give away basic services for free but require users to pay for additional features, such as the ability to go back and undo a swipe for a given user.

SEE ALSO: This Is How Tinder Plans To Make Money

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