All posts by mukeshbalani

[ mukeshbalani.com ] "You heard it here first...if you haven't already heard it elsewhere"

Why Reading Word By Word Is A Bad Strategy To Better Understand An Idea

You may not realize it, but we all read very often in our daily life. We always want to go through all the documents faster at work; we just want to find out the main point of all the long letters and notes from the government or any kinds of organizations quickly; even when we read for leisure, we’d probably be traveling on the bus and just want to finish the current chapter as soon as possible. Yes I get it, you want to read faster without missing the gems.

But is speeding up your word-by-word reading what you should do? The answer is definitely no.

Reading word by word slows you down from processing the idea.

When we read, our eyes normally stop on each word. We call this fixation. It is a bad idea to stop at every word in the text because it slows down the reading speed and may even affect our ability to understand the text.[1]

Language would not have worked without a context. It is true that every word has its own literal meaning but what makes it alive is the context of the text. With the same word but in different contexts, it expresses different contextual meanings, revealing different meanings behind the word. Instead of reading every single word, understanding the context is more important. By having the context in mind, you know what kinds of words you should pay attention to more.

Try to read phrase by phrase instead.

English readers can read roughly two or three words at a time, so instead of stopping at every word, you can stop at every three words. Ideas are not made up of a single word. Being able to read a text phrase by phrase instead of word by word even helps you to understand the idea better.

Skim for the keywords only.

Words play different roles in a sentence. Some are more meaningful while some are less. When our eyes do not stop on each word anymore, we can try skimming to absorb the more meaningful words and ignore those which are less meaningful. What makes a sentence complete is a subject and a verb while all the other elements are only complementing the sentence. For most of the time, you will not have any difficulties in understanding the text despite absorbing the keywords only.

Remember, ideas are bigger than words.

Ideas are made up of words. When you stop reading word by word and focus more on the idea you’re trying to understand, you will read faster. While speeding up reading can increase your productivity at work, it allows you to enjoy reading more!

Reference

function footnote_expand_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).show(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“-“); } function footnote_collapse_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).hide(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“+”); } function footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container() { if (jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).is(“:hidden”)) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); } else { footnote_collapse_reference_container(); } } function footnote_moveToAnchor(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery(“#” + p_str_TargetID); if(l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery(‘html, body’).animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top – window.innerHeight/2 }, 1000); } }

The post Why Reading Word By Word Is A Bad Strategy To Better Understand An Idea appeared first on Lifehack.

Lifehack…Continue Reading…

Everything Is Neutral, Whether It’s Good Or Bad Is Attached To What You Think

‘Is the glass half empty or half full?’ is a common example showing that sometimes what matters the most is usually how we perceive events and objects instead of what actually happens. If it rains on a holiday, you can either think it is bad because it ruins your day or you can think it is good because you can do something different. This wisdom will make your life much happier and less stressful.

Worrying Never Fixes Anything

Sometimes we just worry too much. In fact, worrying never fixes anything or it may even make things worse.

Imagine you woke up late but you had a flight to catch. What’d be the first thing that popped up in your mind? Feeling a bit nervous and a bit worried is normal but if you keep worrying about it, you can never get anything done. Whenever you feel worried, the first thing to do is to ask yourself if there’s anything you can do about it. Say for that flight, if there’s still some time left before the flight departs, you’d better get going. But if it is impossible to catch it, you’d better come up with a Plan B.

Think about the times you spent on worrying, those are times wasted. There’s so much you could have done instead. Worrying solves nothing but only makes the possible impossible.

Only The End Of The World Is The End Of The World

You should bear in mind that only the end of the world is the end of world. Not because the sun still rises and sets despite things happen, but because what upsets you is not the event but your belief. You think it is the end of the world because everything sucks but in fact you are the only one who holds this view.

If you break up with someone whom you think is the love of your life, you may have the feeling that the world is ending. But listen to what people around you say about this, their words maybe harsh to you but they maybe speaking the truth. They’re looking at the same thing from a different perspective. They may believe that you deserve a better person, or they may think that it is not really that bad. What controls your emotion is the belief you have in your mind.

Pain Is Only Temporary

Everybody has their ups and downs because that is exactly what keeps people alive. Inevitably there are some moments we may feel painful, and there is nothing wrong to feel the pain.

What we need to know is, pain is only temporary and you have a choice. You can either choose to be indulged in the feeling of sorrow or choose to overcome it. Like if you cut your finger, it is painful because it is the natural reaction of our bodies. It is the pain. But suffering is optional, you can end this pain by applying a bandage or going to the doctor. It takes time for wounds to heal but eventually it will. Look back to what you have been through in life, you know the bad days will pass someday. It is just a matter of time.

Happiness may be something that most of the people have been chasing for throughout their lives. It can be simple, depending on how you perceive things.What controls your mind controls your life.

The post Everything Is Neutral, Whether It’s Good Or Bad Is Attached To What You Think appeared first on Lifehack.

Lifehack…Continue Reading…

Two Common Fatal Mistakes People Make In Their Relationships That Ruin Their Lives

You’re in a relationship and you really want to stay that way. But after you commit, things start to go wrong and before you know it, you’re sitting heartbroken in your room crying. Sound familiar? About 40-50% of married couples get divorced in the United States today.[1] So what can you do to make sure you avoid adding to the dismal number? For starters, avoid these two common fatal mistakes.

Mistake Number 1: Forming a relationship because you feel you need it, not because you want it

Many people confuse need with want. When you need someone, you may be staying because you’re afraid to be alone, for financial security, or because you aren’t sure you can find anything better. When you want someone, no matter what happens, no matter how difficult it might be, you still want to stay. Then that’s love.

A common misconception is that people think that they need to find someone to feel complete. However no one can do that for you except yourself. One of the most important prequalifications for getting and keeping a good relationship is your ability to be alone with yourself.

Mistake Number 2: Rebounding

Research suggests that rebounding happens because your brain craves an ex-partner similarly to the way that an addict’s brain craves a drug.[2] You are quite literally going through withdrawal. You feel that you need someone to fill the gap left behind by your partner. Allowing yourself to rebound, however, is a surefire way to make yourself and your rebound partner miserable.

Next time when you find it hard to let go of the past and doubt if you should get back with your ex, remember this theory. Don’t make the same mistakes again. You will be much happier in life and in your relationships if you make an effort to break these common patterns.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pixabay.com

Reference

function footnote_expand_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).show(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“-“); } function footnote_collapse_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).hide(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“+”); } function footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container() { if (jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).is(“:hidden”)) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); } else { footnote_collapse_reference_container(); } } function footnote_moveToAnchor(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery(“#” + p_str_TargetID); if(l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery(‘html, body’).animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top – window.innerHeight/2 }, 1000); } }

The post Two Common Fatal Mistakes People Make In Their Relationships That Ruin Their Lives appeared first on Lifehack.

Lifehack…Continue Reading…

Life Is Too Short. Not Every Book Is Meant To Be Finished. Learn About This Rule

Many people think that once we buy a book, we should finish reading it. When we can’t, we feel kind of guilty. And that unfinished task would stay in our mind for a long time. This is called sunk cost fallacy, which means your decisions are based on previously invested resources. The more you invest in something, the harder it is to quit it.

But think about it, if you pre-pay 1,000 dollar to dine at a restaurant, while it serves you a dish with a number of insects in it, would you stay or leave?

Likewise when you get a crappy book, or a book that just doesn’t suit you, what’s the point of holding on to it?

So how to decide if a book is worth reading or not? “The Rule of Fifty” might help you.

The Rule of Fifty

The concept of this rule has been taken from a book by Nancy Pearl called Booklust. As per the rule, time is limited while books are uncountable. Life is too short to read books that you don’t feel a connection with.

This rule states that if you’re under the age of 50, you should read the first fifty pages of the book before you decide either to complete it or quit reading it. For chronic bookworms, reading 50 pages is a matter of an hour. In this way, you become well aware of what the book is really about. If it interests you after finishing fifty pages, you can choose to go on. Otherwise, you can gladly dump it. It saves a considerable amount of time and also excuses your brain from storing useless information.

If you are above 50 years of age, the rule differs from you since time gets even shorter. Subtract your current age from 100 and the result value will be the number of pages you should read before deciding on the book. For example, if you’re 54 years old, just read 46 (100-54) pages to decide if you should continue reading or quit it.

Within the span of 50 pages, everything like the key message would become quite evident.

If you don’t want to waste your money buying a book and only to find it crappy afterwards, or you don’t want to stand in a book store for an hour, you may use Amazon which many books offer free samples. The free samples would be sent to your device with a click. Around 10% of the book would be shown as free sample.

Featured photo credit: The Daily Beast via thedailybeast.com

The post Life Is Too Short. Not Every Book Is Meant To Be Finished. Learn About This Rule appeared first on Lifehack.

Lifehack…Continue Reading…

One Simple Chart To Find Out Your Leadership Style And Let Your Charisma Shine

Everyone has their own leadership style but most are not aware of their own approach of leading. Even if you think you’re very good at leading, you probably don’t understand your own leadership approach much. When you can figure out the pros and cons of your leading style, you peak your leadership skills. No one is perfect, so is any kind of leading style.

Some leadership types work best in specific occasions, while not really well in others. For example, leaders who put a lot of emphasis on the vision can get team members to achieve greater things by providing them a clear direction; yet if the vision is a bit far from reality, it can cause low team morale.

No matter what your management style is, you need to understand your own strengths and weaknesses, so you can amplify your strengths and improve your weaknesses.

The simple flowchart created by Headway Capital helps you identify the type of leader you are, and provide you with some handy tips to make you a more charismatic leader.

Featured photo credit: Headway via headwaycapital.com

The post One Simple Chart To Find Out Your Leadership Style And Let Your Charisma Shine appeared first on Lifehack.

Lifehack…Continue Reading…

Argue With Your Partner Over Small Things Often? Science Says It’s A Good Sign For Your Relationship

Relationships aren’t always easy. Arguments and disagreements are expected when two people with different life experiences, views and perspectives come together. But how often are we told that arguing with our partner means the relationship is doomed? That disagreeing often is a sign that you just aren’t compatible?Well, if you find you bicker a lot with your loved one there may be a saving grace – science says it is, in fact, a great indicator for your relationship and here’s how.

Love Isn’t An Easy Street

As much as love is portrayed as romantic and against-all-odds fantastic, the reality is that relationships and marriage takes work to cultivate and bloom. There’s so much psychological research based on why marriages fail but not nearly as much asking what actually makes marriages succeed.

It’s this perspective that has lead us to believe that arguing is a negative sign of failure and incompatibility with someone we love. While extreme hurtful arguing is detrimental to each other, research suggests that a healthy relationship is one that includes disagreements on a regular basis.

How Arguing Helps Your Relationship To Last

We all know communication is the key to any successful relationship.[1]

While most of us think of this as calmly sitting on the sofa and bringing up worries or concerns to our partner, in real life this is rarely the case.

After all, we’re all human and we all have our bad days, our bad reactions to words and situations and so arguments are bound to happen. In essence, couples who argue are communicating and this is the lynchpin to any successful relationship. Granted it may not seem like the most ideal way to communicate, but actually getting our opinions and viewpoints out is much better than keeping them to ourselves and letting them stew.

Jonah Lehrer, author of A Book About Love, looked closely into how fighting in a relationship is actually a good thing rather than a negative.

“According to the scientists, spouses who complain to each other the most, and complain about the least important things, end up having more lasting relationships. In contrast, couples with high negativity thresholds—they only complain about serious problems—are much more likely to get divorced.”

So arguing about the little things keeps your relationship ticking over much better than saving it for what would be deemed the serious and more important stuff.

How Not Fighting Indicates An Unhealthy Relationship

Okay, arguing from day one may be an unhealthy sign but once we settle into a relationship it’s at this time when the real dynamics start to show.

Lehrer delves deeper into research done by John Gottman, who set up the Gottman Institute dedicating reseach-based methods to strengthen relationships. Gottman’s studies have revealed that, at a certain stage of a relationship where you’re revealing your true-selves to each other, if you’re not arguing then it could be a sign that you’ve lost emotional investment in the other person.

“Gottman’s research shows that 3 years into the relationship, if you’re not fighting, that’s the indicator of an unhealthy relationship. At that point, you’re not holding in your farts anymore. You’re fully intimate. You’ve seen where they’ve got hair, you’ve smelled their morning breath. You’re not holding anything back. So if you’re not fighting, it’s often a sign of withdrawal. In a sense, you can look at complaining and fighting in an intimate relationship as just ways of showing you care.”[2]

Of course, no one should be unhappy in a relationship but emotionally intelligent arguing or even general bickering is a sign that you’re invested and willing to communicate, therefore keeping your relationship ticking over.

So, for those of you that believe arguing is a sign of impending doom for your relationship then think again. In fact, it’s a sign that you’re not only passionate about the other person and the relationship, but most importantly communication is abundant showing you a positive sign that your partnership is probably much stronger than you think.

Reference

function footnote_expand_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).show(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“-“); } function footnote_collapse_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).hide(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“+”); } function footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container() { if (jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).is(“:hidden”)) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); } else { footnote_collapse_reference_container(); } } function footnote_moveToAnchor(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery(“#” + p_str_TargetID); if(l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery(‘html, body’).animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top – window.innerHeight/2 }, 1000); } }

The post Argue With Your Partner Over Small Things Often? Science Says It’s A Good Sign For Your Relationship appeared first on Lifehack.

Lifehack…Continue Reading…

This Quality Of Your Man Can Predict Whether Your Marriage Will Last Or Not

If you’re looking for something serious and don’t want to contribute to divorce statistics, besides all those boxes that you’d like to tick about your future husband, this is one that you should pay especial attention to. That is if you want to be a little more sure about your husband than you are buying your avocados.

If you’re looking for a long-term partner, you need to look for someone who’s used to long-term devotion and endurance in different areas of life, not just romantic love. When approximately half of American marriages end up in divorce, in our culture of instant gratification, that’s no surprise.According to recent studies, the passion and determination to pursue long-term goals is a powerful predictor of whether someone will drop out in the tough times of a relationship or succeed to live through the stormy phases. What some researchers call “the grit effect” is not only a variable to retention in marriage, but also in the military, workplace sales, and high school.[1]

Those who show grit, are more likely to succeed in marriage and other areas of life.

Those who experience frustration, doubt and confusion not as a sign that it’s time to quit, but are just natural phases of a learning process, are much more likely to maintain loyalty to their goals. This is why lifetime educational attainment is correlated with grit, and inversely with lifetime career changes and divorce.[2]

Perceiving frustration as a natural part of a learning process is a healthy trait.

In the same way, people who are grittier tend to regard problems as challenges, rather than feeling frustrated and worn out by the stress of battling the problem, and they tend to be more proactive in the pursuit of a solution.[3]

Interestingly, having this characterising of being able to teeth-gritting through the tough times seems to pay off, as demonstrated in a study by the Marriage Foundation. In this study, 7 out of 10 of the unhappy parents who manage to stay together reported to be happy 10 years on after the storm; 27% of these reported being “extremely happy.”[4]

Pays off to stay together through the tough times.

So if you’re considering whether your boyfriend is husband material or not, you might want to look at his past and see if there’s a pattern of keeping a devotion to his long-term goals, or if there’s a pattern of constant quitting. That will give you a good idea of whether he’ll have what it takes to survive through the rough times or if he’s likely to drop out.

You can never be too sure of how life will turn out and how much you and your partner will change with it. But when the years start to pass, responsibilities start to weigh and every day starts to look the same, that’s when being with a strong, gritty man, and being a gritty woman yourself, will play a significant role in the success or failure of your marriage.

You can’t predict the future, but personality can tell you a lot.

If you’re both devoted and passionate people who have been resisting tough times and persevering on the pursuit of your goals, chances are you’re going to live happily ever after.

Do you have grit? Do you believe your significant other is gritty as well? Are there other qualities other than grit you feel determines the success of a relationship?

Reference

function footnote_expand_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).show(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“-“); } function footnote_collapse_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).hide(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“+”); } function footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container() { if (jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).is(“:hidden”)) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); } else { footnote_collapse_reference_container(); } } function footnote_moveToAnchor(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery(“#” + p_str_TargetID); if(l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery(‘html, body’).animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top – window.innerHeight/2 }, 1000); } }

The post This Quality Of Your Man Can Predict Whether Your Marriage Will Last Or Not appeared first on Lifehack.

Lifehack…Continue Reading…